I Become So Numb

No graphical image,no stylized picture, no beautiful fonts will describe the state of mind I'm in at the current time so just want to keep it simple by just filling in some words.Dont know how many would read my post but still I'm writing for my own sake.

 
            

                        Few days back an incident opened my eyes of how fool I was,actually my friends would say it was long ago but the ghost still haunts me again and again and reminds me of how fool i was or have been for a whole long period.No I dont wanna blame anybody for my state and I'm not at all depressed of being in such a state, actually I feel quite releaved in this form of mind,yes complete solitude!!!!!!!!!!!
            A friend once told me " Bus,Train aur Larki in sabke piche daur na mat ek jati hai dusri ati hai" ha ha,such a funny fellow he is.Yes everybody, is telling me its enough come on move on,but was i really settling down that i need to move. yes and no at the same time,why ? dont ask me I'm too idiot to answer such a question.
            "We don’t need no ejucation" sings the Pink Floyd and "I become So numb" with Linkin Park,where when how answers all unknown unanswered................
                Ohh what am i saying does they really have any meaning at all?I would say why you dont know me?that you are trying to find meaning in my words?
                To the Queen of the Moon,to the Piggy darl of childhood,to the gal whom i never could say.Yeah you all were right,I was the wrong one,I was the real inglourious,but you all deserved more,much more than this "Opodartho jonmo amar, opodartho kormo amar"singing man could get for you. Forgive my ignorance you all whom I thought only thought for me about me,but real facts were always against me playing for my opponents.
       So my dears amd my life i bid you adieu of your empty state of motions,and invite to my mind the state of mind so that i can say
" I BECOME SO NUMB,THAT I CANT FELL YOU HERE"